Adversity. Struggle. Fatigue. Stress. Worry. Despair. Don’t matter: it’s gotta’ get done. This is what it all boils down to. It shouldn’t be any other way for the beings designated (by God) to lead their families. And this post isn’t a slight to women at all: I know many that are as strong as they come in this world. Women that take on double duty as mother and father to children needing every ounce of parenting & support that can be offered. Women that are, dare I say, ROLE MODELS to many on what MEN should be to & for their loved ones…but I’m just taking a moment to remind the guys that the time for excuses has expired: it’s time for men to be MEN, again. Out of all of my training, education, time put in at work, time in ministry, or anything else requiring sacrifice, I’ve realized what it was all really for. I’ve done my best to put myself in position to be a man when my ladies (my wife, my mother, my sisters, my cousins) need me the most. Mentally. Physically. Emotionally. Financially. Spiritually.
It appears to me that when things are going best, I should expect some kind of turmoil with the women in my life. It’s like clock work! I’m not talking about that ‘ratchet’ stuff you see being displayed on reality TV of our black women, though. I’m talking about those real life issues that the women I love have to face. The troubles of this world. Well this time, it was my little sister that needed her father and big brothers to be MEN, yet again. I constantly worry about her residing in Houston with very little family, but I know I have to trust God for her safety and security. But my anxiety reached a new height when she sent a text saying she needed money to pay her rent on the 2nd of the month. Not only was she short on rent, but she was short on a roommate! Conveniently (sarcasm y’all), her roommate had decided to return to her roots in another state. The funny thing is that she made the announcement (via text) just THREE DAYS prior to their rent being due. Unfortunately I’ve recognized a trend with our young people (my generation included): they (we) believe that their (our) responsibilities are only in the place they (we) reside; leaving no thought to the ramifications of their (our) actions on their (our) future wherever they (we) travel. My little sister is a hustler, everyday all-day, but the rent is too much for her to muster on her own with her current situations. Something’s gotta’ give. And I cannot have my little sister roaming around homeless when I’m in the comfort of my home. And better yet, I cannot have her seek help outside of this family when she has no HUSBAND to support her (and I mean husband: boyfriends ain’t allowed to do for my sister in such a way, PRETENDING to be husband, and abandoning the commitment later because he never gave her the title of WIFE).
After the initial frustration subsided, it was time to get to the “action” part of the story. You see, sometimes we allow our emotions to be the PRIMARY response, while the action becomes the SECONDARY response. MEN, PLEASE LISTEN…this is not the role of a MAN. Action will and should ALWAYS be the primary response, and emotions should be secondary. My frustration towards her roommate was not going to help her bills & rent get paid, only ACTION would. My disappointment in family (yep, the individual was family) wasn’t going to keep a roof over my little sister’s head, but my ACTION could. It’s ok to feel, but it’s not ok to become crippled by them. GO DO SOMETHING! But not only was I starting to get things in order to help her ‘this’ time, but I started to pray and seek God on what would be a ‘permanent’ solution moving forward. It’s not enough for us to put patches over the scabs our loved ones have developed. We have to look for cures that free them from the pain they are enduring, alltogether. Soon enough, I was bringing resources together with the men in my family, multiple phone calls going out to my brothers and father. And finally, a phone call to my mother to ensure her that everything would be ok (I know my mama and know what she needs to hear and when). Needless to say, not only is my little sister now stable for December, but for the foreseeable future going forward. This adversity had become an avenue, a gateway of sorts, to something greater for her in this present (and future) moment. Tragedy to triumph in a number of days.
Men, now is the time to ask a few questions…can the women you love depend on you in times of crisis? Can the women you love depend on you to be a man of action and not emotion? Can the women you love depend on you to provide stability, and not just short-term tranquility? Can the women you love depend on you to fight and be willing to give your life for them when the time comes? If the answer is “no” to any of these questions, its’ time to get your weight up. Mentally. Physically. Emotionally. Financially. And most importantly, spiritually. If you are lead by an all-mighty God, you’ll always be an all-capable man. Men, time for us to be MEN again…we have people depending on us with their lives.