Now that I’m 28…

So…back in high school I use to write a lot of poetry because of my anger issues. It was a way of expressing myself instead of acting out. At the age of 18 I wrote a poem called “Now that I’m 18.” Which was about me finally graduating high school and being able to move out of my parents house. As a teenager I bumped heads with my mom like most teens do and at the time I was ready to get out of the house and go to college. At the time I did not feel wanted nor did I think my mom really cared about me. I was in my feelings about the lack of support at basketball games, when most of my teammates moms would be in attendance for every game. I was tired of her nagging and bickering about every little thing I did, it all seemed like I could do no right, and the poem I wrote expressed all of my that and more.

Now that I am a father and have my own family, I have come to realize that what I though could not have been further from the truth. Here is something to my mother entitled “Now that I’m 28″…

Now that I’m 28 and a father I realized the everyday struggle you dealt with raising me.

The constant visits to my school when I would get in trouble and the non stop butt whippings I seemed to get weekly.

Now that I’m 28 I understand how you could wake up every morning at 4:30 a.m. work until 3:30 p.m. come home cook for and clean up behind 3 kids and not be able to make it to my game because you are so exhausted.

Now that I’m 28 I understand why you were so hard on me about every little thing,  you were just preparing me for manhood because as a black man in today’s world there is no room for error. I learned that being in your household because you did not let anything slide.

Now that I’m 28 with kids I understand that sometimes your kids do get on your nerves and every parents’ patience runs out but the love that you give your children should always be unconditional and I learned that from you.

Now that I’m 28 I understand why everything happened the way it did. The moral is, teenagers, you may not under why your parents do what they do,but know and trust that they have your best interest at heart. It might be 5-10 years before you realize it but they are just trying to mold you into something better than themselves.

I love you mom and I appreciate her guidance.

Toni Phroze

 

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