I know it has been a long time my brothers and sisters. For that, please accept my sincerest apology. I have thought about you guys everyday: but thoughts aren’t recognized without action. I have to do better because I owe it to myself; I even owe it to you. Welp! Now that I’ve got that out-of-the-way (haha….)
I’ve worked twelve hours for a company that seems to appreciate me. But I’m still black, so you never know. I look back over the day and recognize all of the things I was able to accomplish. Sometimes I even surprise myself with results, but hey, no time to get side-tracked. I’m even thinking about the things I need to accomplish tomorrow, already. That’s the way I’m built: sometimes it’s a great thing, but also a detriment in others. I need to figure out a way to shut my mind off. Do a few push-ups, take a shower, and get ready to do work in the morning. Five hours later, that alarm goes off: rise and grind IAC.
I’ve worked another twelve hours for a company that pays me pretty well, considering where I come from. But I’m still black, so you never really know. I don’t even have the will to ask so that I don’t get disappointed by the answers. My few years have proven more valuable to various groups in our company than some individuals with greater titles; individuals that have sucked the company’s profits for over twenty years and have went on to provide generational wealth for people who look like them and has the same last name. Somebody remind me again why the scales are tipped so heavily in this country? Nah, I need to figure out a way to shut my mind off. Do a few push-ups, take a shower, and get ready for work in the morning. Six hours later, that alarm is booming: rise and grind IAC.
I’m in meeting number four for the day and unfortunately I have to be the one to deliver bad news. Schedule slippage happens, right? But wait, I’m still black, so hopefully they don’t overreact and try to attribute the slippage with ‘incompetence’ on my part. After all, everyone really knows me so that couldn’t come into question with any of these groups. That couldn’t happen when I work this hard! But you know what, they didn’t receive that tough news well at all. “What are you doing to fix this” they ask? “How could you allow this to happen” they ask? “What did ‘the center’ learn from this failure” they ask. At this point I realize that there has to be a fall guy, and usually the closer to the ground, the darker and dirtier it gets….get it? I fit the bill, so I’ll allow my “customers” to vent since they’re in “unfamiliar territory”. I just need to get home and do some push-ups, get a shower in, and get ready for a great day in the morning. Today was just a bad day! Five hours later, wifey wakes me up and I’m ready to go to handle today’s problems! Rise and grind IAC.
I’ve learned about an industry that I didn’t even think about in middle school, high school, or undergrad. Not only learned, but I’m accelerating in trajectory (even if the world can’t see it yet). I’ve dedicated myself to be able to support my family in the way I envision I should; this opportunity has been a great stepping stone to do so. I’ve humbled myself to understand where I lie in this world. But how can I be comfortable with that, man? I’m a KING in this world. But wait, I forgot, I’m still black…for some reason, black doesn’t equal power anymore, right? Ahhh, everytime I find myself thinking I’ve good a good thing going, I just keep reminding myself that I’m just building onto someone else’s good thing. And this gentleman’s family DEFINITELY doesn’t look like mine. Man I’ve gotta’ figure out a way to kill all this noise in my head! I need a gym today to get me right. I may need to just sit down in the shower and let the water pour over me. Yea, I know that will help me get ready for work in the morning. Five hours later, that alarm wakes me up again; I’m ready! Rise and grind IAC…but this time…just maybe…break your back for yourself instead of someone that doesn’t need a lift in this world.
“A Brother recognizing how hard he works, and it’s never for himself”